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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27985248">All I Ever Wanted</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/angediary/pseuds/angediary'>angediary</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>19th Century, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Ballroom Dancing, Drama &amp; Romance, F/M, Flirting, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, fictional city</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:28:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,423</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27985248</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/angediary/pseuds/angediary</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Each invitation always came with a gift, and each ball they spent with dancing together until it became more, an attraction. Jihei had been a mysterious nobleman but it did not stop Miyuki to pursue the one she longed for.<br/>This certain ball might be the time for her to confront him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Miyuki/Jihei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>All I Ever Wanted</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>An invitation for a ball arrived a few days ago.</p><p>It always arrived along with a white box wrapped in golden ribbon, an elegant ball gown folded inside.</p><p>Tonight, another ball was being held by all the noblemen and noblewomen in the city. Miyuki arrived with the one who invited her, wearing the same ball gown she received days before. Stepping down from the carriage, a hand was already offered towards her.</p><p>“Please be careful.” Jihei gave her a gentle smile.</p><p>“Thank you.” Taking the offered hand, she climbed off the carriage, her other hand carefully lifting up the gown’s skirt. And of course, she returned his smile with her own.</p><p>“You are lovely. As always.” He whispered close to her ear, her arm already wrapped around his.</p><p>Side by side, they entered the manor’s entrance along with other nobles, each dressed in their most glamour outfits. This ball was not the first one they attended together and they did have the same crowds and connections with the nobles despite him coming to the city only a year ago.</p><p>Although Miyuki had her own invitation, Jihei always sent his personal invitation to her, along with gifts and gowns. Many times she wondered why he would bother if they could meet in the ball by themselves.</p><p>Some minutes had passed, pleasantries exchanged and there was no other who approached them. By some luck, the classical music turned into waltz. A sweet, expectant smile curled her crimson lips, Miyuki stared to the dance floor where people were dancing under the sparkling chandeliers, hanging from the ballroom’s high-ceiling.</p><p>Jihei turned towards her, offering a hand, “May I?” He certainly was aware of which song she’d prefer, they had danced together for too many times for him to not notice it. “One of your favorites, is it not? It will be a shame to miss this certain song.”</p><p>“Oh, yes, of course. I was about to ask you myself if you failed to notice.” With a brazen gaze and mischievous smile, Miyuki placed her gloved hand atop his, allowing him to lead her towards the dance floor.</p><p>Then, everything happened naturally. The way their hands intertwined on their side, her other hand on his shoulder, while his hand placed against her back, it became more intimate in each of their dances. </p><p>They had danced for many balls, she’d lost count. But nothing more. Jihei never courted her in daytime, or outside the balls.</p><p>Miyuki’s gaze studied his face as he swirled her around and around, through the sea of other nobles who danced along with them. In their dance, their gazes, their touches, she wondered if there was more than his kindness and truthfully, she wished it was more.</p><p>The smile upon her lips turned into a troubled one.</p><p>“Why the smile? Something the matter?” He whispered, his gaze gentle as the waltz slowed into a more melancholic piece. His hand on her back lowered down to her waist.</p><p>Pretending to not notice that little change of his gesture, a teasing smirk tugged on the corner of her lips. “Curious?”</p><p>“Shouldn’t I?” Jihei teased her in return.</p><p>Miyuki let out a small chuckle. “If I can be honest, there is something bothering me.” A pause, she batted her eyelashes up to him. “Or rather, <em>someone</em>.”</p><p>Unable to hide his smile, he swayed her even slower to take a moment to have a conversation. Both of his arms around her waist. “A certain someone is bothering you? Do I have to offer my help?” His murmur was low, meant to be heard by her. “Any help you might need — even violence, if necessary.”</p><p>Her eyes twinkled with delight, certainly not from the sparkling light from the chandeliers. “You will do such for me?”</p><p>“Yes, if a harm may come upon you, I would prefer prevention beforehand.”</p><p>Miyuki laughed a little, tilting her head slightly to the side. “I appreciate the thought. However.. I simply have questions for that someone.”</p><p>“Hm? Questions?” His brows arched upward, though it was clear that he was not that surprised. As if he had seen this coming from her.</p><p>“Shall we head over to the balcony, for a more private conversation.” Her demand was obvious, and she took the initiative to take his hand on hers and lead them out of the dance floor, finding an empty balcony nearby.</p><p>The music could still be heard but it was distinct, here in the balcony, the sound of the night replaced the loud music. A silence, a fresh air that she welcomed. A girlish giggle slipped past her lips, she let go of his hand to walk farther, turning around while her back rested against the stony railing.</p><p>The golden light from the ballroom shone upon her face, while the moonlight illuminated his. Such a beautiful contrast.</p><p>“Yes, questions, and I wish <em>he</em> would answer.”</p><p>He stood before her, stretching out a hand to swipe her hair to the back of her shoulder, revealing <em>her neck.</em> He forced his gaze upward and collided with hers, “What kind of question? I’m certain he would answer if he could.”</p><p>“Why are you so kind to me? All the invitations, gifts, jewelry and gowns.”</p><p>Jihei took a deliberate pause while staring back at her. The smart, brave girl with a strong heart. He was bound to fall for her. But.. It wasn’t that easy. His hand moved to brush his cold fingertips against her cheek. “Because you deserve those.”</p><p>“Not enough.” Her gaze hardened, but she leaned into his touch — her cheek pressed against his palm. “I require an honest answer, Jihei.”</p><p>“Try another question, perhaps.” He might be digging his own grave, but it was difficult to resist her. Too difficult, or else he could restrain himself better and stay away from her.</p><p>“What am I to you?” Miyuki’s gaze turned serious, demanding, “If you simply wish to show your kindness, or if you court other women just as how you court me, then..” As her words trailed off, she breathed deeply while peeling his hand off her face and holding it in hers against her chest. “Spare me from your kindness.”</p><p>“I cannot answer you, but you must know — never have I courted any other as I court you, other women were no one but acquaintances. Never more. But, you..”</p><p>A prolonged silence.</p><p>“But <em>I</em>..?” Apparently, she was never patient enough to wait, and so Miyuki squeezed his hand to demand more answers. “I have known you have secrets, perhaps in your past, and some that you still might carry, but allow me to be clear just this once..”</p><p>He did not dare to speak another word though a smile remained, not wanting to shatter this lovely moment of bravery that made the darkness around his heart lightened; a moment that might determine their future.</p><p>“Whatever secrets you have, it won’t diminish what I feel for you, Jihei. There is nothing I won’t be able to handle.” <em>I am not a weak, delicate girl. Unlike those in the ballroom, or those out there.</em> All other girls usually would prefer to be meek, gullible to gain interest from the noblemen. But not Miyuki, she won’t be afraid to stand her ground within reason. Her eyes alight with resolve, her hand squeezed tighter. “You never talked about yourself, not beyond daily obligations, weather, and such. We only meet at night and never in daytime. Do you possibly think I won’t notice that?”</p><p>Still, he could not bring himself to tell her everything, only these words: “The only answer I have is that I might be wrong for you.”</p><p>“You have no right to decide that by yourself.” With a glare, Miyuki let go of his hand abruptly. Her smile disappeared, replaced with a disappointment that painted her lovely features. “Take me home.” Stepping aside, she walked past him and returned to the ballroom, to the entrance without looking back even once.</p><p>An intake of breath then a shaky exhale while he watched her disappearing through the crowds. If he could be honest with her — “You are.. All I ever wanted.” </p><p>Only the moon and the stars were the witness of his honest words. Not the one who should hear his honest confession.</p><p>Jihei followed her from behind with hasty steps and a heavy heart, aware that his hesitance might result in losing her. His other choice was Miyuki losing a normal life. </p><p>The silent thought was an endless torment.
</p><p>Because his dark secrets might lead to her demise.</p>
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